Saturday, January 26, 2013

Let The Sunshine In

I have allowed this blog to become dormant because I no longer have that much to say about having lupus. I tell my friends that I don’t have it anymore. Most of them get my dry sense of humor, occasionally I get the “look”, the one that says “you must not realize how awful lupus is, and that it’s incurable”. Yes I do, and I don’t care.

I am incredibly grateful and astonished that I feel better than ever. I feel as if nothing ever happened. And that amazes me every single day. It has given me a cherished gift, and that’s gratitude.

I have been asked how am i feeling several times this week, in varying situations. People are telling me how good I look, how I look like my “old self” (how about looking like my young self?) again. I am grateful for everyone’s good wishes and happy thoughts, and I think I couldn’t have gotten here without them.

I commented to one person that I heard that a lot this week, and that part of it made me wonder “just how bad DID I look?” This, of course, is just my dry sense of humor, not me being offended. But I am rather amused.

But the truth is, I feel fantastic. I do have to keep an eye on things, I’ve learned that the hard way. But there are little things that I notice that indicate to me that the worst is over. One thing, and I hope I don’t jinx it, is that I haven’t had an occurrence of Reynaud’s Syndrome so far during the cold months. Reynaud’s is something that happens with autoimmune diseases, under periods of stress or cold all the blood leaves my fingers and they turn ghost white or even blue. They become numb and I have a hard time getting the feeling back. I was getting it even in the summer during a rainstorm.

I did have another health setback unrelated to lupus, I now have degenerative scoliosis. That pissed me off, because I was trying to get back in shape and having bad lower back pain put the kibosh on that. But PT has helped, and I still hope to get back on the ski slopes.

My plan is to just keep on doing what I’m doing. I take my drugs, try to eat well, exercise every day, and keep my stress level at bay. I have to be careful not to over extend myself, and that’s difficult because I have a lot of interests and energy. But it has been a long time since I "hit the wall". Sometimes I wish I could stop the drugs and go au naturale, but I don’t want to rock the boat. Last time the boat almost sunk.

So, I don’t expect to be writing much here anymore. I plan on switching my efforts to another blog about being a musician. It’s at http://josieslifeasamusican.blogspot.com, please join me there!

Thanks for listening.